Friday, January 11, 2008

where am I?

Sweet merciful meshugas, I was able to log in on my first attempt!

Yeah, so I haven't posted in, oh, 18 months or so, but every time I try to comment to the uber cool http://cursinginheels.blogspot.com, I can't ever remember my log in.

So here' s my dealio. I've been attempting to craft my perfect story. In other words, I've been racking my brain trying to complete a marketable work of fiction that will allow me to live a life of leisure. Or at least semi-leisure. Or at least the ability to stay up late enough to watch Project Runway without the requirement of having to wake up at 5 am the following morning.

But my dilemma is this. I cannot for the life of me finish a story. The ideas come and taunt me. I write them in a blaze of glory. And then I come to dead halt somewhere in the middle. And then, POOF, gone. Nothing. I don't care anymore. The characters and ideas that saturated my imagination fade into the ether.

It's not a matter of being stuck on a plot point. It's a matter of being completely uninterested in what I started. I just don't care about the world I created or the people who inhabit it.

And then another idea comes along and usurps the previous one.

It would be nice and convenient if my new ideas could somehow mesh with the old ones and I could cobble together one complete story out of all these disparate pieces. But it never works that way. The ideas and characters are always completely different.

And so they all go stale, and I decide that I'm not really a writer but merely a temporary occupant of a sandbox. And that's okay, as I came to that realization a few years ago.

But it does put a serious dent in my big plans to retire before the age of 80!