keep it moving, people

Enough with talking on your cell phones in Costco, people! It's bad enough you drive like a drunkard on the freeway, but get the hell out of my way with your gigantic cart and your "blah blah blah!" It's Costco! It's a search and destroy mission so I can get to the register before the other eleventy billion people in the store.

And why do people jam the aisles just for a free hunk of cheese or paper shot glass of Tropicana? WHYYY?? This is America, where we cram our pie holes with scones the size of our heads and venti caramel macchiatos while waiting for Costco to open its doors at 9:30. Trust me, you'll live without the free 1/8th cut of the Samurai Sam's egg roll!