It seems that my sister, Vivi Alden, has nominated me for the Sexiest Muu Muu Award.
No wait, that's not it. I think it was the Blogger with the Sexiest Treadmill Award.
Hold up, I have to go look again.
Ah, here it is!
Ta-da!
So, following her example, I will now list FIVE SEXY THINGS ABOUT MYSELF!
Is that right? I dunno, I'm just copying what's on her blog. I thought a sexy award would be personally delivered by Clive Owen or something, but apparently that's not the case.
Okay, so....
Sexy #1
My big brain. That's right. My big fat brain! I will kick your ass at Jeopardy. I really will. And I will do my own celebratory dance, too. (But I will not gloat when you're wrong. That would be really UNsexy.)
Sexy #2
I can speak French! (sort of) And everyone knows that a (sort of) command of the French language makes you sexy!
Sexy #3
Uhhhh.... I dunno. I'm out of sexy. I don't make my bed. I don't flat-iron my hair. I don't cook dinner unless it comes from the Trader Joe's freezer section. (Unlike my sister, I believe that eating pre-packaged food boosts my immunity to zombie flu, due to both the quick-freeze process and the time saved in cooking, which then allows you to conserve your energy when the zombie flu pandemic strikes so you have the strength to wield shotguns like Milla Jovovich.) And I'm currently wearing a retro print brown sweater with blue plaid pajama pants.
I'm sexied out, yo.
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3 comments:
Please, girl, you totally brought sexy back!
Oooohh...sexy muumuu awards!! I think we need to create that! Or how about, sexy pie hole cramming award? The sexy pie hole cramming, muumuu wearing award! I'll work on the artwork. You write out the award guidelines.
Oh hey, I need a Justin Timberlake hate!
Okay, maybe not.
But it would really sexy-up my muu muu.
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