Wednesday, December 31, 2008
This message brought to you by the You Know You're Old When.... network
I finally used my exciting, new cleaning apparatus today:
Yes, that's right, my life today has been made complete by the Shark Steam Mop. (Well, that and LL Cool J on the iPod whilst steaming hard surfaces.) I have problems with my kitchen floor because it's ugly grey linoleum (it's true, I only live large in my mind). Quite frankly, it's difficult to tell when grey linoleum is actually clean. And I don't like chemical floor cleaners because they all aggravate my asthma and give me a headache. I can use all sorts of toxic cleaners in the bathrooms with no problem, but the floor cleaning gives me issues, maybe it's too much surface area for toxic goo or something since my bathrooms are the smallest bathrooms on Earth so the fumes don't stick around long.
This thing is so cool! It works way better than the Swiffer Wet Jet, and it's not stinky! Then you just throw the pads in the washing machine when you're done! I feel so eco-friendly right now, I expect Al Gore to show up at my door any minute to give me a new Toyota Prius for my trouble.
And now I have sparkly clean floors for our postponed Christmas tomorrow. My family won't know what's gotten into me.
Yes, that's right, my life today has been made complete by the Shark Steam Mop. (Well, that and LL Cool J on the iPod whilst steaming hard surfaces.) I have problems with my kitchen floor because it's ugly grey linoleum (it's true, I only live large in my mind). Quite frankly, it's difficult to tell when grey linoleum is actually clean. And I don't like chemical floor cleaners because they all aggravate my asthma and give me a headache. I can use all sorts of toxic cleaners in the bathrooms with no problem, but the floor cleaning gives me issues, maybe it's too much surface area for toxic goo or something since my bathrooms are the smallest bathrooms on Earth so the fumes don't stick around long.
This thing is so cool! It works way better than the Swiffer Wet Jet, and it's not stinky! Then you just throw the pads in the washing machine when you're done! I feel so eco-friendly right now, I expect Al Gore to show up at my door any minute to give me a new Toyota Prius for my trouble.
And now I have sparkly clean floors for our postponed Christmas tomorrow. My family won't know what's gotten into me.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
The New Year Survey
1. Will you be looking for a new job?
God, I hope not.
2. Will you be looking for a new relationship?
No. Even if Erik dumped me (which he wouldn't...and if he did, he'd be dead), I've already trained one husband. I don't have the energy to train another one.
3. New house?
Of course. I'm going to win the HGTV Dream House, of course. (And then I'll have to sell it in order to pay the taxes on it.)
4. What will you do different in 2009?
Get on that damn treadmill!
5. New Year's resolution?
I never make them, but we bought the damn treadmill, so I will be getting on the damn treadmill.
6. What will you not be doing in 2009?
Uhhh...? Marrying Clive Owen?
7. Any trips planned?
No, but I'm hopeful for a Vegas trip and at least one Michigan trip. If we keep our jobs, I'll plan for two Michigan trips (provided my sister doesn't make me sleep on her treadmill).
8. Wedding plans?
Not my own!
9. What's on your calendar?
I don't know. I am a firm believer in never putting up the new calendar until January 1.
10. What can't you wait for?
I'm stealng from my friend, Carol, since it's spot on: George W. Bush moving the fuck out of the White House.
11. What would you like to see happen different?
Smart people running this country who actually want to do the right thing.
12. What about yourself will you be changing?
Hopefully a reduction to my muffin top.
13. What happened in '08 that you didn't think would ever happen?
Such deep layoffs.
14. Will you be nicer to the people you care about?
Do I need to be nicer? I always try to be nice (unless they don't deserve it *g*)
15. Will you dress differently this year than you did in 08?
Not drastically.
16. Will you start or quit drinking?
I will never quit drinking.
17. Will you better your relationship with your family?
It's already fine, I think.
18. Will you do charity work?
I always do. Typically once per quarter.
19. Will you go to bars?
Of course! I often eat in the bar now that smoking is banned. You always get your food faster and aren't disturbed by screaming children. And pubs always have the best food (not best for the muffin top, but oh well)
20. Will you be nice to people you don't know?
Yes. I always am (unless they give me road rage).
21. Do you expect 2009 to be a good year for you?
I'd like to think so!
22. How much did you change from this time last year til now?
I sure learned a lot, but I'm not sure it's entirely quantifiable.
23. Do you plan on having a child?
Nope. That ship has sailed.
24. Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with now?
I hope so!
25. Major lifestyle changes?
I can't say that I have any kind of serious lifestyle, so the only thing that would be major would be a job loss for either of us, and we'll hope to heck that doesn't happen.
26. Will you be moving?
I'll at least spend a nice vacation in my HGTV Dream House in Sonoma, California. Other than that, I don't think so.
27. What will you make sure doesn't happen in 2009 that happened in '08?
I won't eat a whole pan of brownies in a weekend.
Right, who am I kidding?
28. What are your New Years Eve plans?
I'm quite sure I'll be asleep before midnight since we're doing our postponed Christmas on New Year's Day.
29. Will you have someone to kiss at midnight?
I've already warned my husband not to wake me at midnight just to tell me that it's January, and he simply replied with an evil cackle.
30. Wish for 2009?
Job security for both of us!
God, I hope not.
2. Will you be looking for a new relationship?
No. Even if Erik dumped me (which he wouldn't...and if he did, he'd be dead), I've already trained one husband. I don't have the energy to train another one.
3. New house?
Of course. I'm going to win the HGTV Dream House, of course. (And then I'll have to sell it in order to pay the taxes on it.)
4. What will you do different in 2009?
Get on that damn treadmill!
5. New Year's resolution?
I never make them, but we bought the damn treadmill, so I will be getting on the damn treadmill.
6. What will you not be doing in 2009?
Uhhh...? Marrying Clive Owen?
7. Any trips planned?
No, but I'm hopeful for a Vegas trip and at least one Michigan trip. If we keep our jobs, I'll plan for two Michigan trips (provided my sister doesn't make me sleep on her treadmill).
8. Wedding plans?
Not my own!
9. What's on your calendar?
I don't know. I am a firm believer in never putting up the new calendar until January 1.
10. What can't you wait for?
I'm stealng from my friend, Carol, since it's spot on: George W. Bush moving the fuck out of the White House.
11. What would you like to see happen different?
Smart people running this country who actually want to do the right thing.
12. What about yourself will you be changing?
Hopefully a reduction to my muffin top.
13. What happened in '08 that you didn't think would ever happen?
Such deep layoffs.
14. Will you be nicer to the people you care about?
Do I need to be nicer? I always try to be nice (unless they don't deserve it *g*)
15. Will you dress differently this year than you did in 08?
Not drastically.
16. Will you start or quit drinking?
I will never quit drinking.
17. Will you better your relationship with your family?
It's already fine, I think.
18. Will you do charity work?
I always do. Typically once per quarter.
19. Will you go to bars?
Of course! I often eat in the bar now that smoking is banned. You always get your food faster and aren't disturbed by screaming children. And pubs always have the best food (not best for the muffin top, but oh well)
20. Will you be nice to people you don't know?
Yes. I always am (unless they give me road rage).
21. Do you expect 2009 to be a good year for you?
I'd like to think so!
22. How much did you change from this time last year til now?
I sure learned a lot, but I'm not sure it's entirely quantifiable.
23. Do you plan on having a child?
Nope. That ship has sailed.
24. Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with now?
I hope so!
25. Major lifestyle changes?
I can't say that I have any kind of serious lifestyle, so the only thing that would be major would be a job loss for either of us, and we'll hope to heck that doesn't happen.
26. Will you be moving?
I'll at least spend a nice vacation in my HGTV Dream House in Sonoma, California. Other than that, I don't think so.
27. What will you make sure doesn't happen in 2009 that happened in '08?
I won't eat a whole pan of brownies in a weekend.
Right, who am I kidding?
28. What are your New Years Eve plans?
I'm quite sure I'll be asleep before midnight since we're doing our postponed Christmas on New Year's Day.
29. Will you have someone to kiss at midnight?
I've already warned my husband not to wake me at midnight just to tell me that it's January, and he simply replied with an evil cackle.
30. Wish for 2009?
Job security for both of us!
blame the cold meds
I just can't stop laughing at this.
Perhaps only Vivi will laugh.
Or maybe it really is the cold meds, and she won't.
Perhaps only Vivi will laugh.
Or maybe it really is the cold meds, and she won't.
Monday, December 29, 2008
good samaritans and stupid heads
One of our neighbors has been shoveling our street ALL afternoon. It was raining like crazy today, but as compact as the snow was from NEVER BEING PLOWED, it just wasn't melting and was creating giant pits of frozen quick sand that was very difficult to drive through. My husband has been out there for the past few days with his shovel hacking all this stuff to break it up and get as much off the road as possible.
And then the good samaritan neighbor did his good dead, out there with his garden shovel, moving all this gunk to the side of the street so we could all function as normal Seattle drivers again.
Not FIVE minutes after he was finished with this stretch of road, a freaking snow plow came through!
I heard this very loud rumbling and ran to the window because I could not believe that they'd have the nerve to send a plow through at this point when we'd already done all their work for them! In fact, I ran down and opened the front door to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me, and exclaimed, "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"
Yes, I know they never heard me, but it wasn't a planned exclamation. It simply erupted out of incredulity.
Stupid heads.
In other news, I have a cold now. How I caught a cold, I've no idea, since I haven't been able to leave the house in 500 years.
Actually, we actually left the house yesterday for a GLORIOUS (seriously) trip to Target and then to Border. We concluded by stuffing our pie holes at Claim Jumper.
But I've had a sore throat for 3 days, so I'm guessing it's some sort of alien DNA because I haven't actually had contact with another human being aside from my husband in quite some time. And he's not sick. Unless he's the alien. It's possible. He does like halvah and sardines (separately).
So I actually spent most of the day at home (aside from yelling at the snow plow and chasing after our recycle bin that blew away). I decided it was good opportunity to watch The Patriot. Only the Tavington scenes, of course, since the film is complete crap aside from his smokin' hawtness. Jason Isaacs needs to play another bad guy!
That is all for now.
And then the good samaritan neighbor did his good dead, out there with his garden shovel, moving all this gunk to the side of the street so we could all function as normal Seattle drivers again.
Not FIVE minutes after he was finished with this stretch of road, a freaking snow plow came through!
I heard this very loud rumbling and ran to the window because I could not believe that they'd have the nerve to send a plow through at this point when we'd already done all their work for them! In fact, I ran down and opened the front door to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me, and exclaimed, "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"
Yes, I know they never heard me, but it wasn't a planned exclamation. It simply erupted out of incredulity.
Stupid heads.
In other news, I have a cold now. How I caught a cold, I've no idea, since I haven't been able to leave the house in 500 years.
Actually, we actually left the house yesterday for a GLORIOUS (seriously) trip to Target and then to Border. We concluded by stuffing our pie holes at Claim Jumper.
But I've had a sore throat for 3 days, so I'm guessing it's some sort of alien DNA because I haven't actually had contact with another human being aside from my husband in quite some time. And he's not sick. Unless he's the alien. It's possible. He does like halvah and sardines (separately).
So I actually spent most of the day at home (aside from yelling at the snow plow and chasing after our recycle bin that blew away). I decided it was good opportunity to watch The Patriot. Only the Tavington scenes, of course, since the film is complete crap aside from his smokin' hawtness. Jason Isaacs needs to play another bad guy!
That is all for now.
Friday, December 26, 2008
crazy koo koo wacko
I can't take it anymore!!!
We were very excited to leave the house today. Have been trapped in house since Tuesday.
Until we discovered that my car can't actually drive through unplowed, slightly melting snow. A monster truck is pretty much the only thing that can drive through our neighborhood right now. Or perhaps a tank.
We had enough momentum to scrape through it down the hill and made to the grocery store. When we came out of the grocery it was raining! Hurrah! The world rejoiced! The snow will melt for real!
And then we went up the little tiny hill toward my house. At the top of the little tiny hill, the rain turned to snow.
And it's been snowing very large wet lakes for the past two hours now.
It was supposed to be 40 degrees today.
Mind is gone. Will never return. Will be trapped forever. Weather people lied. Cannot believe that cities are still refusing to plow residential streets. Would very much like cities to have stoopid pants sued off of them when an ambulance or police car can't get to where they are needed.
Am hoping that stoopid pants city officials have also been beaten with fugly sticks. It is only right for stoopid pantses to be fugly.
Purchased taco fixings and donuts at grocery store. Figured that was all we could carry. Am watching Highlander marathon on SciFi while eating donuts and potato chips.
Will no doubt turn into female version of Comic Book Guy by end of day.
We were very excited to leave the house today. Have been trapped in house since Tuesday.
Until we discovered that my car can't actually drive through unplowed, slightly melting snow. A monster truck is pretty much the only thing that can drive through our neighborhood right now. Or perhaps a tank.
We had enough momentum to scrape through it down the hill and made to the grocery store. When we came out of the grocery it was raining! Hurrah! The world rejoiced! The snow will melt for real!
And then we went up the little tiny hill toward my house. At the top of the little tiny hill, the rain turned to snow.
And it's been snowing very large wet lakes for the past two hours now.
It was supposed to be 40 degrees today.
Mind is gone. Will never return. Will be trapped forever. Weather people lied. Cannot believe that cities are still refusing to plow residential streets. Would very much like cities to have stoopid pants sued off of them when an ambulance or police car can't get to where they are needed.
Am hoping that stoopid pants city officials have also been beaten with fugly sticks. It is only right for stoopid pantses to be fugly.
Purchased taco fixings and donuts at grocery store. Figured that was all we could carry. Am watching Highlander marathon on SciFi while eating donuts and potato chips.
Will no doubt turn into female version of Comic Book Guy by end of day.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Bah humbug
This ranks as Worst Christmas Ever! We got some very sad news from my mother-in-law on Tuesday that one of my brother-in-law's 2 month-old twins died on Monday. On a personal level, I'm more worried for my mother-in-law and father-in-law since I actually know them much better (I've only been around my BIL and his family a few times), and they've already maxed themselves out looking after the older two children for the past few months. Plus, these kids are their only grandchildren.
And while I really have no room to complain given what they're going through, I'm bored out of my skull! We're snowed in again, got another 4 inches last night and it's been snowing heavily all morning. We'd thought we might try to go out for Chinese since we had to postpone the festivities due to weather. But now we're just stuck at home watching bad TV and eating the remnants of what we have left in the house.
So yeah, Merry Christmas and whatever. I just put Bailey's in my coffee so I wouldn't go completely wacko.
But I thought our lights looked pretty buried in the snow, so I took a picture!
And while I really have no room to complain given what they're going through, I'm bored out of my skull! We're snowed in again, got another 4 inches last night and it's been snowing heavily all morning. We'd thought we might try to go out for Chinese since we had to postpone the festivities due to weather. But now we're just stuck at home watching bad TV and eating the remnants of what we have left in the house.
So yeah, Merry Christmas and whatever. I just put Bailey's in my coffee so I wouldn't go completely wacko.
But I thought our lights looked pretty buried in the snow, so I took a picture!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
I needed a funny
I was reading the article in the Seattle Times about why the city doesn't use salt on the roads (WSDOT does because they have brains). Note that even the police can’t get around now because their cars are rear wheel drive. So they’re having to park at the bottom of hills and walk to incidents.
The city is trying to pull the environmental protection card again (they do this thinking we’re dumb and will buy it because we’re all a bunch of bleeding hearts here). They’re saying all this bollocks about how salt hurts the fishies. (But sand and chemical de-icers don’t??) This rare use of salt wouldn't hurt the fishies compared to all the other crap (literally) we put in the water system. And certainly not to the same measure that people who can't get to work or are crashing their cars or can’t get to their holiday destinations are feeling! Not to mention emergency responders or getting ambulances to hospitals.
A couple days of salt into Puget Sound has more weight than the safety/financial stability of humans? Errrrr, no. I think the real issue is that they can't afford salt compared to sand, and everyone would be screaming at them for spending money on it when the snow actually goes away and we forget the pain.
There are all sorts of comments to this effect on the Times website, but this one quoting some Seattle official made me snort:
"But here in Seattle, 'we're sensitive about everything we do that impacts the environment."
-An Alien, from Planet Moron
That pretty much sums up the Seattle government! They spent gazillions of dollars on self-cleaning toilets (fancy Honey Buckets, basically) that they then had to sell on eBay because they were frequented by prostitutes and drug dealers. (Gee, couldn’t have called that one.) But they don’t want to spend money on salt and can make themselves feel better about by waving a green flag around.
God, I’m so sick of these stoopidheads.
The city is trying to pull the environmental protection card again (they do this thinking we’re dumb and will buy it because we’re all a bunch of bleeding hearts here). They’re saying all this bollocks about how salt hurts the fishies. (But sand and chemical de-icers don’t??) This rare use of salt wouldn't hurt the fishies compared to all the other crap (literally) we put in the water system. And certainly not to the same measure that people who can't get to work or are crashing their cars or can’t get to their holiday destinations are feeling! Not to mention emergency responders or getting ambulances to hospitals.
A couple days of salt into Puget Sound has more weight than the safety/financial stability of humans? Errrrr, no. I think the real issue is that they can't afford salt compared to sand, and everyone would be screaming at them for spending money on it when the snow actually goes away and we forget the pain.
There are all sorts of comments to this effect on the Times website, but this one quoting some Seattle official made me snort:
"But here in Seattle, 'we're sensitive about everything we do that impacts the environment."
-An Alien, from Planet Moron
That pretty much sums up the Seattle government! They spent gazillions of dollars on self-cleaning toilets (fancy Honey Buckets, basically) that they then had to sell on eBay because they were frequented by prostitutes and drug dealers. (Gee, couldn’t have called that one.) But they don’t want to spend money on salt and can make themselves feel better about by waving a green flag around.
God, I’m so sick of these stoopidheads.
Bah Humbug
We have decided to cancel Christmas. Or at least postpone it for a while and see if a gathering is possible on New Year's Day or that weekend. We're supposed to get anohter 2-6" tonight and then more snow on and off through Saturday. Boo. My parents would never be able to make the drive over two mountain passes that are already treacherous before this next round of snow (which is sure to amount to more than 6" up there!)
And the way around the mountains through Portland is closed due to snow and ice storms.
So yay, good times. I don't really like Christmas anyway, but now I'm just annoyed that I don't even get to snack and drink all day! (Trust me, the two of us have been doing enough of that while snowbound!)
So we'll keep an eye on the roads and see if maybe we can get a reservation for brunch or dinner on Christmas day. But if we end up on the 6-inch side of the snow accumulation on top of all the compact snow and ice we already have, we'll be stuck at home AGAIN.
Boo! Boo and boo!
And the way around the mountains through Portland is closed due to snow and ice storms.
So yay, good times. I don't really like Christmas anyway, but now I'm just annoyed that I don't even get to snack and drink all day! (Trust me, the two of us have been doing enough of that while snowbound!)
So we'll keep an eye on the roads and see if maybe we can get a reservation for brunch or dinner on Christmas day. But if we end up on the 6-inch side of the snow accumulation on top of all the compact snow and ice we already have, we'll be stuck at home AGAIN.
Boo! Boo and boo!
Monday, December 22, 2008
going KOO KOO
Trapped again.
Still trapped.
Still cold.
No melting coming. May have to cancel Christmas since no one will be able to get here if the roads don't clear.
Trappedgoingwackocan'tgetoutwillnotsurvivewithsanityintactsincedidn'thavemuchsanitytobeginwith.
Am now starting to clean out junk drawers. You know that life has become completely desperate when you take to cleaning out the junk drawers. Although this is probably a bad idea since it's garbage day, yet the garbage truck didn't come and nobody knows when it will return. So I have nicely sorted junk but no empty can in which to toss it.
Hubby's office is closed so at least he's home guilt-free. My office is open - we're like the postal service that way - so I fester in my guilt, even though I know I'd get stuck trying to get there and my boss already told me not to worry about it.
We have resorted to using the margarita salt on the front steps. I'm sure this must be a crime against all that is right and good in the universe. Margarita salt to combat snow and ice instead of on the rim of a glass? What perverse world have we fallen into?
We do have a genius plan for attempting to walk to McDonald's for lunch so we don't go stark raving mad. Yes, you know I live in harrowing times if I'm actually willing to walk to McDonald's for any reason at all since I don't actually eat burgers, let alone walk there on snowy sidewalks sans snow boots (note to self: buy snow shovel AND snow boots some day). But super-sized fries would pretty much make my day at this point. And if nothing else, there's a STARBUCKS in the Safeway next door.
Still trapped.
Still cold.
No melting coming. May have to cancel Christmas since no one will be able to get here if the roads don't clear.
Trappedgoingwackocan'tgetoutwillnotsurvivewithsanityintactsincedidn'thavemuchsanitytobeginwith.
Am now starting to clean out junk drawers. You know that life has become completely desperate when you take to cleaning out the junk drawers. Although this is probably a bad idea since it's garbage day, yet the garbage truck didn't come and nobody knows when it will return. So I have nicely sorted junk but no empty can in which to toss it.
Hubby's office is closed so at least he's home guilt-free. My office is open - we're like the postal service that way - so I fester in my guilt, even though I know I'd get stuck trying to get there and my boss already told me not to worry about it.
We have resorted to using the margarita salt on the front steps. I'm sure this must be a crime against all that is right and good in the universe. Margarita salt to combat snow and ice instead of on the rim of a glass? What perverse world have we fallen into?
We do have a genius plan for attempting to walk to McDonald's for lunch so we don't go stark raving mad. Yes, you know I live in harrowing times if I'm actually willing to walk to McDonald's for any reason at all since I don't actually eat burgers, let alone walk there on snowy sidewalks sans snow boots (note to self: buy snow shovel AND snow boots some day). But super-sized fries would pretty much make my day at this point. And if nothing else, there's a STARBUCKS in the Safeway next door.
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